There has never been such a sweet smell like that of sand after it has rained for the first time in eons. That is the kind of aura that lasts in your head like Hugo Boss perfume on cloth. That is how I felt this morning. After the scorching sun got me throwing a hanky up and down between my face and right pocket to clear the beads of sweat rolling down my face. The sun sits still in the sky. The street is an organised chaos, a cocktail of humans, taxis, boda bodas, and vendors. A pair of ray bans stand guard infront of by eyes, as if guarding the throne room on game of thrones. I can clearly see the leaves and twigs off a handful of trees parading either sides of the road rattle, as if in excitement. “It could be there way of saying thank you to Mother Nature,” I mumble. I plug in my ear pods, pull out my phone, look through my music list. My eyes land on Rihanna’s 2007 album “Good girl gone” before spinning some memories. That was 10 years ago. She was new in the scene. She was innocent, then she sacrificed it to give us good music.

The year is 2017.

It is just few days to 2018. The thought of it makes my heart palpitate.  I rub my palms in anticipation. What a year! I attempted to grow some hair. Later discovered it isn’t worth the hustle. I have a phobia for the comb, I guess. But then I grew a beard. Shinny black, nothing cosmetic.

I longed to step out of my comfort zone for so long. Perhaps catch a bus, boat, plane, ferry or a boda boda and go see what’s on the other side…..where the sun barely flicker a ray. Hopped on to a ferry, crossed the lake to some Island for a day. It was a refreshing experience. I needed it. Infact, it was long overdue.

Well, I also read a couple of books. Started with “I am no Angel” earlier, when the year was in its infancy. A blank page that we have since filled with memories. I also took the seal off “Deadline.” Very intriguing book, with several plot twists. It got me to the edge of my seat every time I flipped a page. I can’t get enough. Infact, “Time only matters when it is running out,” is my take out.

On so many occasions, I tried to start rising up early. But it seems my bones won’t subscribe to the idea. My relationship with slumberland is eternal. Unbreakable. Way beyond my powers. The alarm never worked. I silenced it every time.

A couple of DVDs went in and out of the player. I consumed series like they were my favourite meal. They gave me company this year. Screen infront and remote in hand. What a company! Prison break was lit. Yes, the gang came back for season 5. Started off somewhere in a prison in north Africa. It was worth the billing. Narcos too didn’t disappoint. All the 3 seasons where well crafted. With sick plots. The suspense was legit. One take out though, Escobar got zero chills. Game of thrones deserves a throne in the Hollywood hall of fame.  Seven seasons in seven years is no easy feat. Growth and evolution of the series is evident. It was on my bucket list and yes, I binge watched. It ticked all the boxes for me. I could not miss Scandal, not for Olivia Pope and her antics. I only took too long to fall in though. Season one was a disappointment. For me, the real Scandal started in Season two. Well, let me see how this ends.

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…..and 2017 looked like

10 good decisions I made in 2017:

1). Grew a beard

2). Read quite a number of books.

3). Moved to a better gwa, filled it with a huge bed, huge screen and home theatre system.

4). Looked through my phone contacts and deleted some numbers, replaced them with more relevant ones.

5). Wrote a little harder, spread my wings and improved my craft.

6). Travelled, it was long overdue.

7). Cut off more people from my space. Wink!

8). Sustained meaningful and constructive friendships.

9). Tried waking up early, though it seems I am not yet ready to part ways with slumberland.

10). Watched Narcos, Prison Break, Scandal and Game of Thrones.

buvuma xx

HOW SHE GOT MY KNEES WOBBLY

He sends me this fuzzy photo of what I could not imagine in the first 90 and a half seconds of opening, was a whip. It looked much more of an imagination than reality, perhaps a toy car, I imagined. He knew I harbour a soft spot for whips. “Have you checked out the photo I sent you, now that is a big story you wouldn’t want to pass you by this year,” he said.
I slid my hands in the pocket and pulled out my HTC One, M7 I have dated for the last 3 years to check the photo again. The only time I took my eyes off phone was to ask, “Where is it?”
He wore a rather suggestive smile that spelt out, “We should go there over the weekend,” before his mouth could disgorge the words. He drives a Mercedes Benz that we hopped on to this place – a beach littered with cars that only live there – to give a bourgeoisie backdrop to the beach, I guess.

I advanced towards her in “dead of night” silence. Walked around her. Many times. Planted my hands on the huge pimped rear. Took it off. Stared again. Put it back; It oozed a warm attitude, punctuated by class. Then I lost control of my hands that moved haphazardly, caressing her protruding curves. My knees got wobbly so I stepped back.
“Who owns this,” I ask him. He looks around, as if to be sure nobody is listening or looking our direction. “He knows we are here. He will come around in a few,” he replied under his breath.
“Why are you whispering?.”
“A rear machine like this deserves respect, more like you would to a damsel after leaving the friend zone,” he quips.

Silence sweeps through.

“If I had not come to write about this whip, I would have made out with it,” I mumbled.
Then he comes, dressed in baggy baseball attires, more like some multi award-winning American rapper. “Why pimp a Lexus Soarer to this level. It has lost its identity,” I ask, of course after exchanging pleasantries. He looks at the whip, then at me and back to the whip and says,”I like my cars different. I have to look different. I invested a lot of bucks on her, importing parts from abroad” Points at the other cousins – also pimped. He gave her new front and rear bumpers,side steps, rims and butterfly doors. A complete makeover. However, lt is a 4.3cc, so it drinks.
He receives a call and moves a few yards to answer. I whisper to my colleague,”I thought the owner was a lady.”

“Better, young, hot, broken-hearted and only lives with pet fish,” he said. I look at him to see if he is “being real.”

“I would have so wanted to be her pet fish or better still a washer. I’d really behave in and out of water.”

Lexus soarer

GUCCI GRACE’S DILEMMA

It never occurred to me that when I shut down, sometimes is when it legit goes down. Woke up this morning to a rather random phone call. My phone buzzed and momentarily stopped. “What could be this early morning emergency?” Asked the alter ego voice in my head. In a jiffy, before I could process the moment, it rang again and this time I was quick to answer. “Do you by any chance have or know someone with Gucci Grace’s new address or contact?,” asked the the person on the side. There was a hint of desperation in his husky but also deep voice. “Wherever she is, someone got to start a new life with her. She is young, fresh and tested.” The voice faded in the background expecting a response.
“But are you aware Mugabe’s is still alive and a resident of Zimbabwe?”
“Yes, I am. But, at 93 after about 4 decades in power. He has lost all his powers.”
“But you very well know I have no connection with that country, whatsoever.”
“But you know media people have access to a cocktail of information. I thought this could be one of them,” before hanging up in disappointment.
Now it hit me, Grace Mugabe could just have stolen the headlines across the globe, yet again. And yes, I was right.
“Breaking: Zimbabwe’s Former First Lady Grace Mugabe Files For Divorce.” Read a headline from some blog.
Oops! Unlike folks on these social media streets, I didn’t see this coming.
Grace’s rise and fall from grace was fast, more like something scripted in Hollywood. It must have Mugabe’s first wife, Sally turning in her grave in disgust. Not with the snob attitude that saw her blow millions in shopping sprees abroad while the rest of the country starved. Apparently, she is now seeking some peaceful life that she never gave people at home and abroad – not even neighbouring, South Africa where she was born. She hit a model with an extension cable for partying with her sons.

Lesson 1: Never let being powerful corrupt your conscience and push you to morph into a power fool.
Lesson 2: Like gold diggers, power diggers too exist. When the subject vanishes, so does their affection.
Mugabe’s resignation might just have been a curtain raiser, the main event is yet to start – It surprisingly might end up bringing their sons’ paternity into question. Grace’s detractors are now in power.grace-dissing-mugabe-1

WHY DO WOMEN WEAR RED LIPSTICK?

Red lipstick is saturated with sexual connotations. Hardly surprising, given that its primary function is to make lips look like a female’s privates.

Crude, but apparently true. According to Diane Ackerman, author of A Natural History of the Senses, anthropologists believe that red lips serve as a reminder of the labia, which “flush red and swell when they’re aroused.” (Too much information?)

Ackerman also points out how, in more recent years, lips are almost always decorated in shades of pink or red and then topped off with a finishing layer of gloss “to make them look shiny and moist.” No need to clarify what Ackerman’s getting at there.

In which case, when you apply either red lipstick or lip gloss (and especially if you apply both) what you’re actually subconsciously trying to do is emulate your own physical state of sexual arousal. Goodness me.

So basically the purpose of wearing red lipstick and/or lipgloss is to increase sex appeal. Hard to deny that one. Take a look at the following pictures, and you’ll see that a strong element of each woman’s sexual allure is, indeed, a result of the bright lipstick she’s wearing.

Scarlett Johansson sexy red lips
Scarlett Johansson won the lips category of the 14th Annual America’s Most Wanted Celebrity Body Parts (image: colorfulwallpaper.net)
Monica Bellucci Dior red lipstick
Monica Bellucci is the muse for Dior’s lipstick, Rouge Dior (image: makeup4all.com)

Having said that, lipstick hasn’t always been used purely for sexual purposes. As mentioned in Yesterface’s post It’s all in the lips… the cultural significance of lipstick has varied over the centuries according to societal trends.

To find out more about lipstick’s timeline, visit Yesterface’s post The History of Lipstick. 

Lipstick on a shirt – the infamous image of adultery (image: thedailygreen.com)

AGRISUCCESS SOLVES FARMER’S PH ISSUES

With the agricultural sector dominating Uganda’s economy, Richard Sekamatte, computer science graduate and also a farmer noticed the frustration farmers experience due to lack of information about soil types and their suitability for specific crops. “You plant an acre of maize and it fails to grow well.  You plant a sack of maize but harvest only two sacks, some dry prematurely because of the acidity of the soil. However, if you do soil analysis, you know even without fertilizers, it will grow well in the right soil,” Sekamatte says.  Sekamatte developed the app about two years ago to help address this problem.  The agrisucess app could change the face of farming and this is why it won the National youth Award in the ICT innovation category.

HOW IT WORKS

Agrisucess is composed of an application which connects to a pH electrode to read results of soil analysis via Bluetooth. It is a web based app, but it also has an android app as a model that can be downloaded from Google play. It’s an open app and requires no username or password, although one can sign in if they want. “Signing in means you get the statistics such as how many people use the system or how many have downloaded it, as well as fertility of the soil of different areas,” Sekamatte explains

You make a soil solution by putting water in a cup, add a soil sample mix, stir and leave for about five minutes. Then dip pH electrode in the soil solution and power it on. When the app is started, it uses Bluetooth to locate the pH electrode. The electrode is connected to a smartphone via Bluetooth and it displays the results. The app picks data from the electrode to the phone, does the analysis and looks in the data base to diagnose. “All the crops are in the database with the suitable pH so it looks at what crops thrive in soil of a certain PH to help the farmer know what to plant in that soil type,” Sekamatte says.

The electrode also does humus and soil moisture test. Different plants require different pH and specific nutrients.  When one finds out the pH and knows, forexample, that maize does well in soil of   4.6-6 pH, one can be sure that the maize will grow. “We do not tell the farmer about the pH, but tell them the crops they should plant, according to the soil nutrients they have,” Sekamatte concludes.

 

TWITTER TO ROLL OUT STICKERS

twitter-stickersSocial media becomes a part of many people’s lives with every other person active on atleast one social media platform. Its consumption pattern has gone upwards, forcing social media networking apps to move towards updating their products to meet the expectations of their users and competition from other similar apps. The latest to receive a major update is Twitter that is set to give its users a whole new experience. Twitter, has become the latest to add stickers to its photo editing arsenal. The stickers will be a fun way to add fun and creativity to even the most boring and crappy photos.

This is how you will get the stickers. When you upload a photo on Twitter, you will go on the Smiley face icon that lets you access the sticker library. Once you select a sticker, you can drag and reposition it to your photo.

Twitter did not stop there, these edited photos with stickers will be searchable where when you tap on a sticker, it takes you to a new timeline where you can see how people are using that sticker. This feature is set to be rolled out in the next few weeks for Twitter users on Android and iOS.

This comes at a time when social media network Snapchat added some stickers on their chats and snap user interface. Facebook already has an extensive library on its site and on messenger too.